Gas Pains Part 2

Stumbled across this article. I can relate 100%. This is so true. Read on!

It’s bird, it’s a plane, it’s Jackie Chan!
by The Sarcastic Journalist
When it came to pregnancy, I always wanted to know how things were for other people. How much weight were they gaining, what their bellies looked like, when they went into labor. So, of course, I wanted to know when people felt the baby kick.

When I thought of my baby in there, I always imagined a little thing, just walking around on the walls of my uterus. Yes, I know it sounds silly. I get it. But? That’s what I thought. A mall-walking fetus.

Trying to explain to someone what those first few kicks are like is trying to explain a sneeze. You see it in your mind. You can almost feel it, but you can’t put it to words.

A girl I knew had described the feeling as “butterflies in her belly.” I went weeks waiting for the butterfly feeling. It never came. Then I started waiting for big kicks. They didn’t come either.

Even better, it is more like trying to describe a fart, since that is the portion of your body that is all wonky, anyways. Go ahead. Describe one. I’ll wait.

Finally, I caught on and put the television remote on my belly. When it started to bounce, I knew it was the baby. Even though I couldn’t feel my baby, I could see that she was kicking.

The best part about when the baby started to kick meant that we had “Interactive Fetus!” Interactive Fetus was a lot of fun. You could blow on your belly and make her jump. If you pressed enough, she’d start to kick.

And sometimes, if her Daddy stuck his face next to the belly and talked long enough, she’d kick him in the face.